An Open Letter To Intel’s Jose Avalos

Adrian J Cotterill, Editor-in-Chief

In response to Intel’s customer invite to a Digital Signage Workshop in Munich (and a possible ‘working group’) here is our open letter to Intel’s Jose Avalos…

Dear Jose

I must apologise but I think that the DailyDOOH and OpenSplash spam filters (Verb: to send the same message indiscriminately to a large number of recipients on the interweb) has meant that I did not receive the invite to your Digital Signage Workshop in Munich.

However, you are in luck as all four of your customers kindly forwarded me the invite AND as I had already planned to be in Munich that week for Wiesn I am more than happy to accept your very kind invitation.

Please note that whilst I am happy to waive my usual fee for attending a corporate event, in terms of my speaking we need to discuss contractual terms. As you know, a legal contract requires that both sides provide consideration – in other words, if an agreement does not specify that each party will give something of value to the other party, then it is not considered a binding contract, and cannot be enforced in court. I fail to see what I get out of attending your event but on the other hand you and your guests get to see and hear me – that’s a little lop sided as I am sure you will agree?

Anyway, seeing as we are in Munich I ask, in lieu of peppercorn (“a peppercorn does not cease to be good consideration if it is established that the promisee does not like pepper and will throw away the corn.” Somervell LJ in Chappell v Nestlé [1960] AC 87) to be paid in die Maß on the evening of 2nd October 2012 in the Schottenhamel tent.

In looking at your agenda I can see a couple of ways in which you can make some time for me to speak about myself (a subject I love doing).

Now, I would normally need four or five hours to do myself justice but I think that with your small audience and a bit of work on my side I can probably cut that down to about an hour and a half without losing too many of the important bits (I will of course send each of your attendees before hand a personal hand written note with suggested pre-reading).

However I am getting a head of myself as we still need to tighten up your agenda to make room for me. May I respectfully suggest the following: –

  1. You have scheduled a lengthy 90 minutes for the ‘Introduction, welcome & Intel DS strategy update‘ but I fail to see how you could possibly talk about your digital signage strategy for more than a few minutes and as a simple ‘introduction and welcome’ could be done in 10 minutes we probably need only allocate 15 minutes to this slot
  2. If the purpose of having lengthy food and coffee breaks is for networking purposes I would like to assure you that your four customers already know each other really well and therefore we could quite easily cut these breaks in half and gain another 30 minutes or so
  3. I am especially looking forward to your afternoon ‘Working session – Formation of Industry Wide Group‘. I was just thinking to myself. I said, “Self, the problem with this industry is that we don’t have enough Industry Organisations and Groups”. Perhaps once we get that group up and running we could call this the Digital Out of home Professionals and Executives SocietyTM (TMSixteen:Nine but I am sure you can negotiate a fee to secure the name)
  4. Copies of my book will be available for sale at the end of the day but I will make sure that I also bring along signed 8×10 glossy pictures to give away. If you would like me to autograph the books then we need to set aside some time for book signing in the agenda. Perhaps we also ought to allow some time to allow attendees to have their photographs taken with me as well?
  5. During the workshop we also need to discuss (a) how your working group would fit in with OVAB Europe and it’s current working groups, (b) Intel’s involvement in OpenSplash, and (c) my current workload does NOT allow me to continually be at your beck and call so please in future give me more notice when you want to setup really important workshops
  6. You suggest ending the day with an evening session ‘dinner and networking’ at 19:00 (see earlier note #2 about the need for networking) but if Intel are paying I think the best way to forget that the workshop ever took place is to head down to Theresienwiese and get absolutely rat arsed

I remain sir, your obedient servant

DailyDOOH editor-in-chief
Co-Chair Digital Signage Investor Conference
Chairman, OpenSplash Steering Group
Secretary, Tangerine Dream Appreciation Society
NUJ Member

9 Responses to “An Open Letter To Intel’s Jose Avalos”

  1. phil austin Says:

    I cannot believe that I read that from beginning to end. I am now going to find a strong tree, a coil of marine rope and work the rest out yourself.


  2. Chuck Billups Says:

    Time to stop reading and following this blog when you publish trash like this. I get that you have an axe to grind. Be a man and take care of it face to face.

  3. Alex Pascale Says:

    What a pompous article. You do yourself a grave injustice by painting your ego in broad stokes. No one give a crap what you think. Just report on the news and quit believing you are the reason people read this crap.

  4. Sierra Says:

    What book? Is this an Obama campaign ad? Thumbs up for the previous 3 comments.

  5. ConsultantsAreUs Says:

    Are you sure that it was not Keith Kelsen or Don Sperring that wrote that letter?

  6. Kate Sheehy Says:

    classic Adrian, stirring up a hornets nest of responses. love it!

  7. Laughing out loud. Says:

    Absolutely fabulous. It’s what a preschooler’s mom writes when her precious Biffy gets jilted on a birthday party invite. No bouncy-house for Biffy! Just too good to be true.

    This blog actually does offer the Digital Signage industry a trove of data and personality and trend information, so I must share the author’s outrage at Intel’s bold and vicious snub. How dare they indeed.

    But what would have been great is if the advertising and ad-supported folks – anyone to do with attracting marketing dollars, really – snubbed, black-balled, shut out this blog permanently 5 years ago. So much stupidity and rumor mongering, so little understanding and value growth on that side of the business.

    A Tuesday smile, though.

  8. Tom Milner Says:

    I’m just concerned that poor Phil Austin is considering using Marine Rope for his next activity…..Phil, it almost lasts forever, don’t do it! 😀

    I personally read this collection of articles to keep me somewhat informed of things going on outside my sphere of influence….most of the time it is laced with some humour and sometimes it has some acidic comment that only the very well informed truly understand.

    Now that we all know that Adrian charges, I’m going to suggest that I become his agent and take half! Do you have an equity card Adrian? I think that you would fit right into ‘The Thick of It’ just restarted on BBC!

  9. MaybeMarkTwain Says:

    Surely the mark of moral courage is the will to face unavoidable popularity?

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